


The One After Ben Died

by belovedplank



Category: Scrubs
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pining, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedplank/pseuds/belovedplank





	The One After Ben Died

“Where do you think we are?”

Perry looked away from his best friend and down into the eyes of his puppy. The concern on JD’s face annoyed Perry, and he turned to comment to Ben – only to realise that Ben was no longer standing beside him. Instead of being on their way to watch his son be traumatised by his first birthday party as organised by the Dragon-Mom, Perry was walking through the cemetery with JD, to Ben’s funeral.

Perry shocked both JD and himself by not immediately shaking off the hand JD placed on his arm, and simply walking beside JD down to the ceremony without saying another word.

*****

Perry knew that he should be trying to be strong for Jordan; after all, Ben was her brother. But Perry wasn’t sure he would be able to. 

If it had not been for Ben, Perry would never have even met Jordan – a blessing and a curse, but that alone was significant.

Perry remembered the first day of college, meeting his new roommate for the first time…

Ben had almost blinded him with the flash of his camera the instant Perry had opened the door. Ben was one of few people not to take an immediate dislike to him, and had never become ruffled by Perry’s rants. Ben had always been more than a match for Perry, but in a cool, calming way that soothed, rather than biting and antagonistic like his sister.

Perry had always been ‘popular’ in high school: too good at sports, and, well – pretty much anything and everything he set his mind to, to be anything other than popular, but when the chips were down, he didn’t have any real friends. Until Ben.

Perry had known Ben for over 20 years; he’d married, divorced and got back with Jordan within 15. 

Perry had always projected an image of not needing anybody, but Ben’s presence in his life had shown him that he needed a friend. However, Perry had never thought that he would need more than one.

Perry started to shake, suddenly feeling that, in spite Jordan’s presence beside him, he was now completely alone. He had no one to turn to. He tried to focus on the feeling of Jordan’s hand on his shoulder, hoping that focusing his mind elsewhere would keep the tears at bay. But then, another hand crept onto his shoulder: a slim, pale – girlish hand. In spite of whom the hand was attached to, Perry found that it soothed him. And so he just decided to go with it: he could always call Newbie a girl for it later.

******

The ceremony was over, and in spite of the fact that JD did not really know any of the Sullivan family, he still hovered around. He knew that Dr Cox would never say anything, would never ask for help, but he was hurting. Perry was trying to put on a brave face, actually attempting to play the good husband for Jordan’s family, but JD could see that he was close to cracking. Moving Jack over to his other hip, JD went over to Jordan, and plucked up enough courage to actually suggest she do something.

“Jordan, Jack’s practically asleep here, you and Dr Cox might want to take him home.”

She glared at Perry’s little puppy; she hated the very thought of someone telling her what to do, but she knew that JD was right. She wasn’t really good at this type of thing anyway, and Perry even less so, especially when over-wrought with grief.

Taking her son from him, Jordan very reluctantly said something that one is very lucky to hear from her; “Thanks DJ. Now you get Perry. I’m gonna go put Jacky in the car.”

******

JD walked down to the car park with Perry, but before they went their separate ways, he stopped Perry with a hand on his arm.

“Alyssa, today is not a day I am willing or able to pander to your girlish need to touch. So remove your hand.”

Clutching his hand to his chest, in fear that the sheer force of Perry’s glare would cause it to disintegrate, JD simply blinked up wide-eyed at his mentor.

“Is there a point to this Bernadette? Because the Dragon-Lady does not like to be kept waiting.”

“Oh!” Waking from his daydream, JD plucked a card from his pocket, taking a deep breath before pulling out his last scrap of courage. “Dr Cox, I know Ben was your friend, and I’m gonna miss him, he was a nice guy.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“And I’d never try to replace him, but I know Jordan’s not the easiest person to talk to. So, if you ever need to talk…”

He held out the card, on which was scrawled a cell-phone number, beneath the word ‘JD’, written in a shadowed bubble script, painstakingly coloured purple. “…I’d be willing to listen. I can do that when I try y’know.”

However much Perry wanted to snap that he didn’t need anyone and why would he chose to confide in his lapdog if he did, he couldn’t. As he opened his mouth, he heard Ben in his head: ‘Look Perry, I’m gone now. That leaves you completely friendless. But your little puppy here; he’s smart and good-hearted, and he thinks a lot of you. I need to know that there’s someone there. So just take the god-damn card you pussy!’

Snatching the card, Perry could not help but chuckle at the sight; “Oh my lord Newbie, could you be any more of a girl?!” 

JD just beamed back, that was the first time since he heard about Ben that he had heard Dr Cox laugh – and it was because of him!

“I’ll see you tomorrow Chloe.”

“Goodnight Dr Cox. Give Jack a kiss from me.”

“I’ll be sure to tell my son that his Aunt Carol adores him,” Dr Cox replied, one eyebrow raised, daring JD to object to the name.

And with a nod, Perry stalked over to the Porsche, where Jordan was waiting, hands on hips, foot tapping. 

Perry took a deep breath as he slid behind the wheel, taking care to avoid the glare of the Devil-Woman seated beside him. As he drove out of the car park, he saw JD situate himself on his beloved scooter, and a wave of calm washed over him, at the realisation that maybe he wasn’t so alone after all.

*****

JD had been overjoyed that Dr Cox had confided in him about his problem with Jordan’s friends, and wanted to help.

However, as the door was slammed unceremoniously behind him, he stood in the hallway, still shivering with fear at the confrontation with the Vampire Ladies. But, when he thought of the reaction his attempt at a discussion was going to get from Jordan, the shaking got worse. And when he thought of what would happen when Dr Cox found out…looking round wide-eyed, as if he was surrounded by Dr Coxs and Jordans fully prepared to strangle him, JD ran.

*******

He arrived at the Hospital just in time to see Jordan storming towards the nurse’s station, where Perry stood filling in a chart. JD leapt forward, feeling like he was in slow motion (like the running girls on Baywatch) as he cried; “No! It was all my fault!!”

The entire room went silent, just in time to witness JD as he over-leapt, and landed in a sprawl on the floor between Dr Cox and Jordan. 

Dr Cox swiped a finger over his nose, and folded his arms as he looked down at the over-gelled Doctor. “Right then Daisy. As much as I appreciate girls throwing themselves at my feet, you re-he-heally need to tell me what the hell you did that you actually seem willing to accept the blame for. And you need to tell me in the next three seconds, or start running. Three...two..."

Seeing the look on Perry’s face, JD squeaked, and turned to Jordan; it was her who needed the explanation anyway. “You see Dr Cox was a little stressed because of your Vampire-Ladies and I was just trying to help and Dr Cox never asked me to or anything – as if he’d ever ask anyone for help! He just wants to be left alone; he just wants you and Jack. And quite frankly, the Harpies are absolutely terrifying!” After that super-babble, JD just lay there, gasping for breath.

Dr Cox and Jordan just stared down at JD for a moment before looking back at each other. As their eyes met, neither could hold back their laughter. 

Still smiling slightly, Jordan turned to her one-time husband and asked, “And you couldn’t have told me this why?”

“Despite how extre-ee-mely annoying those skeletons are, if you felt you needed them….” Perry shrugged. He knew he hadn’t been doing that great a job supporting her, but he was certainly not going to admit that! 

Jordan had known Perry long enough to hear what he didn’t say, and nodded slightly, leaning over to give him a quick kiss, before stepping over a still sprawled JD 

“Maybe DJ did something right for once, sticking his beaky nose in” 

JD sat up at that, putting a hand to his nose as he cried; “Hey! My nose is not beaky!”

Shaking his head at the younger man, Perry held out his hand and yanked JD up off the floor.

“Well then Newbie, looks like you might actually have some balls after all, actually surviving more than a few minutes with Jorderooni’s skin and bone pals.”

JD beamed at the back-handed almost-compliment, dusting himself off and then trying to look at his butt to make sure there was no dirt missed.

Perry stood there, watching JD straighten himself up, dust himself off, and check his hair and felt a surge of affection. Of course, being Perry Cox, he was quick to suppress this with a cutting remark: “And there you go Ethel! I’m this close to actually referring to you as a male and you have to act like that!”

JD had both hands to his head checking his hair as he asked, totally clueless; “What?”

“Look Felicity, your luscious locks are unspoilt, now move your ass and get to work!” And at that, Perry gave him a light smack on said ass that shocked both of them. However, before JD could speak, Perry let out his piercing whistle and barked; “Just get!”

It was only as he watched JD dash off that Perry realised that he was actually watching JD’s ass! He ran a hand through his curls before storming off in the opposite direction, hitting himself on the head with the clipboard still in his hands.

*****

Perry woke up blearily, heart aching at the realisation that it was just a dream, and Ben would never again randomly pop up and shove a camera in his face, or challenge him to a game of ‘Gay Chicken’; the only game Perry ever lost!

Wide awake now, Perry left the bedroom and walked down the corridor to the living room, hands already immersed in his hair. He just stood there for a moment, before walking over to the phone. As he flung himself on to the sofa, he started with the realisation that he was halfway through dialling a number that he had not even know he had already memorised.

Tilting his head; unknowingly reminiscent of the young man of whom he was thinking, he shrugged and then finished typing the number.

As it started to ring, Perry realised how late it was. He shrugged inwardly, as he thought; ‘Oh well, Georgina said she was willing to listen. Wouldn’t have given me the number if she didn’t want me to use it.’

*****

JD was stirred from his dream (in which he was sitting on a cloud-throne made from candy floss as people bowed before him and gave him gifts of candy bracelets) by the sound of music. However, as he opened his eyes, it began to register that it wasn’t just any music, Hot Chocolate’s ‘You Sexy Thing’ blared out from his cell-phone at top volume. Jumping clear across the bed, JD grabbed the phone, praying that it hadn’t woken Carla or Turk.

Flipping open the ‘phone, he yawned as he asked “Dr Cox?”

Back at his apartment, Perry blinked. He hadn’t even spoken yet, how the heck did she know that it was him? He asked as much, and JD replied as he usually does – without thinking; “All my friends have personalised ringtones. Yours is-” JD clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from continuing. “- Nevermind.”

Perry raised his eyebrows. He was not sure whether JD was scared or embarrassed. Regardless, his curiosity was piqued, and he decided he would find out what the ringtone was; if only to be able to wring Newbie’s neck if it was something girly.

Perry decided to return to the reason for his call before he lost JD to another of his random daydreams.

“Right then Holly. I’m gonna talk and you are gonna listen. And if you so much as think about wandering off into one of your daydreams, or even worse, actually attempt to speak before I am finished, I will shave off every hair on your over-gelled head and stuff your dead dog with it. You got that?”

JD nodded rapidly, before he remembered that Dr Cox wouldn’t be able to see him, and quickly (although quietly) replied; “Yes Sir. This is me, zipping my lips.”

As soon as he heard that, Perry started talking. At first, he avoided the reason he called and talked around the subject, telling JD about when he first met Ben, and their first year in college, but as he settled down he grew more comfortable, and before long, he had divulged the entire dream that had led to him calling in the first place.

“And you know what I only just realised Newbie? Little Jack will never know his Uncle. He will have to grow up with just me and the harpy, and never know what a great person Ben was.”

In spite of the ‘no talking’ rule, JD couldn’t bear the pain he could hear in Dr Cox’s voice.

“Yes he will Dr Cox. Because you and Jordan will tell him. As he grows up, you can tell him about Ben and his photography, and show him his photos. You can tell him how good a friend Ben was to you, and how proud he would be of Jack. And what’s wrong with him growing up with you and Jordan? You’re his parents!”

“Oh yeah, a workaholic practically alcoholic dad and a mother who is literally the daughter of Satan, both of whom argue at least 80% of the time. What could po-oo-sibly be wrong with that?”

JD immediately jumped to Dr Cox’s defence – regardless of the fact that he was defending him from himself!

“Look Dr C.-“

“Dr C?”

“Just something I’m trying out. Jordan may be terrifying, but no one would deny that she’s a good mom. Between the two of you, Jack will never want for anything, but neither will either of you let him be spoilt. And you! You act like such a hard ass uber manly man-”

Perry had to insert some remark at that; “Irene, ANYone would seem uber manly in comparison to you!”

JD pulled a face at the phone before continuing; “In spite of being rude to like, 90% of the population, I’ve seen you with Jack. I know how much you adore him. And-”

JD paused for a second, trying to gauge how much teasing he would get if he actually said what he was going to say. However, remembering the pain and fear that Perry had so poorly attempted to hide (at least for someone who knew him like JD did), he knew that he had to, regardless of any teasing possibilities.

“And, I wish my dad had been half the father you already are to Jack. And you can only improve with time!”

There was a silence, in which JD could tell that, for a very rare moment, Dr Cox was actually speechless.

In barely more than a whisper, JD was shocked to hear Dr Cox say; “Thank you, JD.”

Clearing his throat, Dr Cox added; “Right then Janette, its time for all little girls to be asleep in their little pink princess beds. And what must you remember ne-eh-ever to do?”

JD smiled; for once, Perry had not lengthened a word due to him being annoyed (well, it wasn’t the only reason), but because he was yawning. 

“To tell anyone about this conversation. And I won’t. I told you I would listen; I considered it implied that I wouldn’t blab. I know it’s rare that I actually shut up, but I do know how to keep a secret.”

“Kiera, you do know that not telling anyone does include your girlfriend right?”

JD pulled a face, secure in the fact that Dr Cox could not see him. “I know it’s rare, but there are some things I keep from Turk. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Yes Lucinda. Your pinky swear sooooooo reassures me. See ya tomorrow Newbie.”

The attempt at a sarcastic jibe did not really sting, because JD could hear that Dr Cox actually believed that he would keep his promise.

However, when JD went to say his goodbyes, it was to the sound of the dial tone.

“Goodnight then Dr C.”

Flipping his cell-phone closed, JD plugged it into his charger, and placed it back on his bedside table before snuggling down once again in his duvet, and drifting off to sleep.

******

In spite of his lack of sleep, JD awoke in a great mood the next morning.  
He was also the first one up, so he had a world-class fast shower (save some hot water for his best buds!) and towel-dried his hair, deciding to coif it into perfection *after* making breakfast.

Filling the coffee machine with fresh beans, he flipped it on before going to collect together the ingredients for some wonderful breakfast waffles.

******

The lovely smells wafting in finally roused Turk enough to actually get out of bed. Allowing the love of his life to precede him into the bathroom, he stumbled out bleary-eyed into the living room, to find his best friend standing in the kitchen, towel around his waist and Spongebob slippers on his feet, humming the Waffle Song as he piled 3 plates with waffles; syrup, strawberries and a sliced banana already laid out.

Yawning, Turk stretched as he walked over to the kitchen and sat down before asking; “What’s the occasion?”

JD beamed at his best bud as he replied; “Nothing. I just woke up early and decided to treat my Chocolate Bear and his Cocoa Latina.”

“Be thankful that this all smells too good for me to focus on correcting you about my heritage this morning Bambi,” Carla said, giving him a peck on the cheek as she poured the coffee.

As he threw fruit onto his pile of waffles and overloaded them with syrup, Turk asked JD another question. “What are you doing up so early anyway? I thought I’d have to drag you out of bed this morning, what with you getting phone calls at half two.”

JD glanced at his friends apologetically. “You heard that then huh? Sorry it woke you.”

“It’s alright Bambi, but do you think you could turn the volume down a little if you’re expecting to get more late night phone calls? It’s a little disconcerting to be started awake by Hot Chocolate at 2am.”

JD ducked his head in an attempt to hide the blush, as he muttered his apologies once again. 

Turk grinned at his red-faced buddy, and poked his arm. “So? Who’s the ‘Sexy Thing’? And why are they calling you in the middle of the night anyway?”

‘Think fast JD!’

“Elliott! It was Elliott!” JD blurted out, inwardly wincing as soon as the name came out. Neither of them would buy that. 

Turk frowned. “No, Elliott’s ringtone is ‘Another Dumb Blonde’, which by the way, she *will* kill you for when she finds out!”

Even Carla was looking attentive now; it was rare that JD lied to Turk, so she wanted to know what this was about!

“Too true, but not as much as she would have if I’d put on ‘Barbie Girl’!”

JD quickly took a huge bite of his waffle, in an attempt to avoid having to answer any questions. Turk however, had no such qualms about talking with his mouth full, and asked again; “So? You gotta tell me who the new girl is! You never even said you liked someone!”

Swallowing his waffle, JD knew he couldn’t just not answer, but neither could he lie to his best friend. He would have to word this very carefully. “It’s no-one CB. Just a friend who’s going through a rough time right now.” 

Turk knew that this time, his Vanilla-Bear was telling the truth, but was hurt that he was still hiding something from him.

“OK JD, you don’t have to tell me, its cool” and he shoved in another mouthful of waffles, staring down at his plate.

Carla just shook her head; yet another morning when she had to listen to them have it out like high-school sweethearts.

JD could tell that Turk was hurt, and dropped all pretence of focus on his food, and turned to face his best friend. Placing a hand on Turk’s arm, he looked imploringly at him, as he tried to explain.

“Look Chocolate Bear, its not that I don’t trust you! You know how hard it is for me to keep anything from you, but this friend is really down right now, and h-they need someone to listen. And I want to make sure that they’re gonna be alright. But this friend’s a really closed-off sort of person; doesn’t want anyone to know there’s something up. Ergo, extracting a promise from me to not say anything to anyone, even you. You understand right?”

Turk could never resist JD’s puppy-dog eyes anyway, but one of the things he loved about his best friend was his unfailing loyalty. Even though it was so tremendously rare for them not to know every tiny little insignificant detail about each others lives, Turk could respect the need for privacy on this issue, and said as much. 

As Carla put her now-empty plate in the sink, she shook her head at the two now perfectly content boys inhaling the rest of their breakfast, and muttered; “Sometimes I wonder who is his girlfriend; me or Bambi.”

As she walked off towards Turk’s room, she was quick to issue out the orders, pointing out the time and demanding that Turk shower and JD clean up the breakfast things so that they wouldn’t be late for work. As her two boys scurried off to do her bidding, she continued to ponder as to the identity of the late-night caller. She knew that her boyfriend had not noticed JD’s specific lack of pronoun-usage…which made her think that the ‘friend’ was a guy. 

It was as she finished that thought that she heard the shower go off, and realised she only had seven minutes to get ready! Pushing aside these thoughts for later, she quickly got dressed, gathering together the last of the paraphernalia she would need for the day as both of the boys walked out of their respective rooms, all ready to face whatever the day may bring. 

******

At first, JD wondered if the conversation the night before was going to have an effect on his relationship with Dr. Cox; half hoping that it would (for the better), and half panicking that it would (for the worse).

The sight of Dr Cox looking surprisingly well-rested; even though JD knew that he could not have had anymore than JD himself had had, made JD hope that it might be for the better. The smile on his face growing, JD bounced over to the nurses station with a cheery, “Good Morning Dr Cox!”

Dr Cox turned to glance at JD, before turning to Carla and saying; “Carla, how could you allow her to ingest *this much* caffeine and/or sugar this time of the morning?! I mean honestly! You’re meant to be the *man* of that house, can’t you control the girl?”

Without so much as looking up from her paperwork, Carla raised an eyebrow, and replied; “You better not even think of starting with me this early in the morning mister. And actually, Bambi has had no more sugar or caffeine than I myself have had. He made the three of us waffles this morning. Which were lovely, so thank you Bambi.” 

Accepting the proffered peck on the cheek, JD opened his mouth, only to be stopped by an ever-familiar whistle; “Mavis, if you so much as sing *one line* of that god  
forsa-aa-ken song, I SWEAR I *will* end you.”

Hands clasped on his head, Perry walked off down the corridor, still muttering about little girls, cooking and singing.

Such mutterings caused JD to drift off into a disturbing thought; of Dr Cox in nothing but an apron with the words ‘Kiss the Cook’ emblazoned across it, making waffles!

He was snapped out of this daydream by a loud whistle. “Newbie come!”

Grabbing his charts, JD smiled at Carla before bouncing off after Dr Cox.

At the sound of another whistle, JD quickened his pace until he was beside his mentor. Glancing up at him, JD’s smile just widened

Nothing had changed.  
And he was alright with that.

******

And for a while, that really seemed to be it. Dr Cox didn’t call again, but the fact that he knew he could almost seemed to...soften him somehow towards JD. The name-calling did not stop; or even lessen, but Perry realised that he had started to be more amused than annoyed by JD’s antics and daydreaming, and he felt unexplainably calmer when he knew JD was around.

*******

About a month after Ben’s funeral, Jordan decided to take Jack to her Mom’s for the week, leaving Perry alone in the apartment. Perry thought nothing of it...until the night.

Without Jordan beside him, Perry was left alone with his thoughts...which led to Ben.

Perry eventually fell into a fitful sleep, only to be plagued by nightmares of Ben; him lying there, screaming in pain with Perry unable to help. Or worse still, just Ben, standing before Perry, wanting to know why the guy who claimed to be his best friend let him die. Ben blaming Perry for his death.

Leaping up from sweat-soaked sheets, shaking slightly. Perry was half-way through dialling, before his eyes rested on the currently empty scotch glass on the bedside table.  
Placing the phone back on the receiver, Perry smiled grimly as he made his way out to the living room, and his scotch.

Flicking the TV on for some sort of noise, Perry took every single bottle out of the cabinet and placed them on the coffee table, glad that he had the day off tomorrow. 

*******

JD felt weird the following day, knowing that Dr Cox wasn’t going to be there, half-expecting to hear a shrill whistle. 

JD knew that Dr Cox was still grieving in his own way, and, sporadically throughout the day, JD wondered how he was doing without work to distract him. But each time, he shrugged the worry away, hearing Dr Cox in his head calling him a girl for worrying in the first place. Anyway, Dr Cox had his cellphone number and his pager, JD was sure he would have no problems calling if necessary. 

*****

At the end of yet another long shift, JD was glad that for once he had something to look forward to; a Cheers marathon and some quality JD/Turk time. Taking the supersize bag of popcorn out of the microwave and pouring it into their biggest bowl, JD carefully carried it over to the sofa, where Turk already sat, remote in hand, beers on the table.  
As he opened the beer and sat back, the credits started, and JD sighed happily.

Of course, it was not to last. Not even halfway through the first episode, barely three swigs of beer, and the programme is rudely interrupted by a random burst of song;

I believe in miracles! Where you from- 

The song came to an abrupt halt as JD answered, already out of his seat as he asked; “You ok?”

He heard a slurred sarcastic ‘HA!’ before an equally slurred, raspy whisper; “He’s everywhere Natasha. Here.”

“Who is? I thought Jordan had took Jack to her Mom’s?”

“Wrong Sullivan. He’s all around, looking all accu- aca-...blamey” 

JD was already walking towards his room, “Dr C, put the scotch down. I’m on my way.”

Having totally forgotten his best friend still sitting on the couch, JD threw some clean clothes in a bag and dashed back out of his room. Grabbing some chocolate from the fridge and some Advil from the drawer, he flung it in the bag, before turning back to the sofa to grab his coat. It was then that he remembered Turk, who was sitting there, with a kinda shocked/confused look on his face.

“Brown Bear, I’m so sorry, but my friend’s having a really bad night. I’ve gotta go.”

As the door closed behind him, Turk just stared at it for a minute, before saying; “Dr Cox?”

******

Barely five minutes later, JD parked his Sasha beside a familiar Porsche and dashed up the stairs, forgoing the elevator to get there as fast as he could. Panting by the time he got to the apartment, he just stood there, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He had been trying to think of a way to get into the apartment without having to actually knock, when the door was flung open.

“Newbie!” Dr Cox cried, flinging out both arms – however, he was so drunk that he was hardly standing, and this knocked him off-balance somewhat. JD had to rush forward to stop him from falling flat on his face!

An arm now slung over JD’s shoulder, Dr Cox continued; “Thought I heard your girlish panting! Come on in, maybe *you* can get him to shut up!”

As JD guided him over to the sofa, his eyes widened at the sight of all the empty bottles scattered throughout the room.

“Were you *trying* to kill yourself?!” he snapped, unknowingly emulating his mentor by using his anger to hide his emotions.

Watching Perry run a hand over his bloodshot eyes, it was only then that JD noticed the tear tracks. With Perry covering his face with his hands, JD only just heard him mumble; “I only wanted to shut him up.”

Knowing that his worry was obviously showing on his face, JD was for a split second, glad Perry was drunk for that very reason.

“OK Dr C. You just sit there for a second and I’ll get you a glass of water.”

“Don’t want water! More scotch!”

JD stopped Perry from falling into the table as he reached for the nearest (empty) bottle.

“No! No more scotch! I think you’ve drank the place dry by the looks of it anyway.”

JD walked back into the living room, a pint glass of ice water in his hand. As he passed it over to Perry, he asked, “Have you eaten at all?”

At the mention of food, Perry’s head snapped up from its contemplation of the ice in his glass – followed by a moan at the sudden movement. “Food?”

JD shook his head. It was beyond him that someone so intelligent, his resident, his mentor, could get quite so plastered without even having the common sense to eat something first!

“OK, first thing’s first, we need to get you fed and somewhat sober, so you come into the kitchen with me and explain all about this ‘multiple Bens’ thing, while I put the coffee on and get us something to eat.”

At mention of Ben, Perry whipped his head round, as if looking for him.  
Seeing the almost child-like look of fear on the older mans face, JD placed a hand on his arm and asked quietly, “Perry? Is that OK?”

Dr Cox blinked, and the look was gone. Standing slowly, he tugged his arm out of JD’s grasp as he turned to make his way towards the kitchen. “Coffee. And Olga?”

JD instinctively replied to the girls name; “Yes?”

“Regardless as to how drunk I may be, I *know* I didn’t give you per- permish- tell you you could call me Perry. Now. Coffee.”

Sitting Perry at the breakfast bar, JD saluted, “Yes Sir!” before turning on the coffee machine and turning to the fridge to see what he could possibly feed Perry.

A few minutes later, JD placed a steaming hot cup of coffee before his mentor, followed by a plate of bacon sandwiches.

Seating himself opposite him with his own meal, JD smiled at the sight: Perry inhaling those sandwiches like he hadn’t eaten for a week. He might feel a bit ill later (although JD doubted it – Dr Cox had an iron stomach!) but JD knew that between the coffee and all that grease, he’d soon have Perry sober.

With a loud belch, Perry pushed the plate away, and held out his empty cup with an expectant, “Pauline?”

In spite of Perry’s inebriated state, the thought of disobeying him never crossed JD’s mind. He just shook his head at the older man as he refilled both cups.

“Right then Dr C. I need you to explain now please.”

“Ben blames me.”

When JD got no more than that, he prodded Dr Cox with his foot. “What do you mean Dr Cox? Ben blames you for what?”

Dr Cox glared, annoyed that JD was making him explain. “I had a dream. Ben blamed me. Wanted to know why his best friend didn’t save him. Said, he said it’s my fault he’s dead.”

JD grabbed Dr Cox’s hand off the table without a thought, squeezing it reassuringly as he shook his head.  
“It was only a dream though. You know Ben never blamed you for any of this.”

Perry finally looked JD straight in the face, and JD had to consciously stop himself from gasping at the pain that was so plain to see. “But how do you know?”

Squeezing the hand he was surprised hadn’t been pulled away, JD replied; “I just do. I mean, Dr Cox, you knew Ben better than...pretty much anyone else. But I know that the two of you always felt you could say anything to the other without consequence. Don’t you think that if he *had* blamed you for anything, he would have said? Ben was your friend for many reasons, but stupidity was not one of them! He was an intelligent man – he didn’t have much by the way of common sense, but he had enough to know better than to blame his best friend for him developing leukaemia!” 

“But maybe I *could* have done more; I’m a Doctor for Christs Sake!!”

JD smiled gently, “Yes Dr Cox, and you’re one of the best. However, you are not God – in spite of the complex you have that says otherwise. We all did everything we could for Ben. His death was no-ones fault, he just became part of the Circle of Life.”

Perry could not help but chuckle at that; “Lordy Lordy Lord Raquel, can you actually go a *week* without mentioning that goh-od forsaken Disney movie?”

Waggling his eyebrows, JD replied; “It’s what I do!”

*******

They just sat there for a few minutes in silence, finishing their coffee. As JD carried their empty cups and plates over to the sink, he asked quietly; “Seriously Perry, are you alright?”

Rubbing his hands over his face and leaving them immersed in his curls, Perry took a moment before replying. “I’m starting to sober up, so I’m not gonna feel so good if I’m still awake. But yeah, I will be.”

“So, you go get a shower, and I’ll make your bed up with some fresh sheets.”

As he walked out of the kitchen, Perry couldn’t resist adding; “You’re gonna make someone the swe-eetest lil housewife someday Saskia! Really you are!”

Assured in the fact that Perry couldn’t see him, JD stuck his tongue out at the retreating older man. However, as Perry reached the bathroom door, still with his back to JD, he said; “Put that away unless you’re gonna use it Tabitha.”

That left JD scared of where his thoughts led, concerning himself and Dr Cox.  
‘Get your head aWAY from that far-from straight train of thought, and focus on what needs doing Dorian!’  
He took a few steps towards Perry’s bedroom, and was suddenly bombarded with more images. With a squeak, he tilted his head and said aloud; “I doubt he can even bend that way.”

Over the faint sound of the shower, Perry bellowed; “Newbie! Stop daydreaming and start cleaning!!!”

Jumping about a foot in the air, JD whispered, “How *does* he do that?” before bracing himself to try the bedroom again.

*******

Meanwhile, Carla returned home, expecting to find her boys somewhat tipsy and totally focused on the television, and was ready to be completely ignored in favour of a shared passion for old American comedy. However, rather than seeing her boy and his Vanilla Bear side by side on the sofa, totally engrossed, she found Turk sitting alone in the dark, staring at a blank screen. 

Closing the door quietly, Carla turned on a table lamp as she made her way over to the sofa. Sitting on the coffee table in front of her boyfriend, Carla took one of his hands in her own and asked; “Papi? Are you OK honey?”

Although Turk managed to focus enough to squeeze her hand and say hello, his lack of response to her question meant that she did not have his full attention. Turk was rarely that stupid when it came to Carla, so she knew that there had to be something wrong. “Turk baby, where’s Bambi?”

At the mention of the one of many nicknames for his best friend, Turk started, and seemed to wake up from wherever he had been. “JD. JD, he..the phone, he…”

Trailing off, Turk stood up and started pacing, arms gesturing wildly as he started to stutter; “Doc- The phone! And it’s a-”

Standing up, Carla stood in front of him to stop his pacing, and took both of his hands in her own. “Calm down Papi. Take a breath. Now what’s wrong?”

“The Sexy Thing! It’s, he’s Doctor Cox!” 

Carla blinked. “Doctor Cox? Really?”

Turk nodded emphatically. “Unless we know someone else with a Jack and a Jordan. He rang about a half hour into the marathon; sounds like he spent his day off drinking himself unconscious.”

Carla blinked again, and sat back on the sofa, Turk immediately plopping down beside her. Leaning into her man, she allowed herself to be wrapped in his arms as she admitted; “Well, I had an idea that it might be a man, but I didn’t expect it to be Perry.”

“Wait a minute woman. You *knew* it was a guy?!”

Carla turned her steely gaze on Turk at the way he addressed her before explaining; “I did not *know*, I guessed. Think back on that conversation over waffles; did JD ever actually say ‘she’?”

She could practically see the cogwheels turning in his head as he went over the conversation. Turning to her with a slight smile, he pulled her closer and kissed her softly on the forehead. “Trust you to notice that. What would I do without you?” 

“Good job you don’t need to worry about that, then.”

After that, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Carla was just debating whether or not Turk had digested this latest revelation, so she could go get some sleep, when he whispered; “But…Doctor Cox?”

With a sigh, she stroked his arm as she replied reassuringly; “I know Papi, I know.”

*******

JD was just straightening the comforter when he heard the padding of bare feet.

“There we go Dr C, nice clean – eep!”

Covering his eyes, JD worried about the fact that even with his eyes closed, all he could see was Perry’s rock hard abs, glistening with water, which trailed down to a pristine white but somewhat low-slung towel...

With another squeak, JD pulled his hands away and forced his wide eyes to stay on his mentors amused face.

“Right then Urika, now you’ve taken in perfection worthy of a Greecian statue, you can leave the room to bemoan all your inadequacies by comparison while I flop down on this loverly fresh bed. You re-heally have outdone yourself here Princess, hospital corners and everything. Now git!!”

Calming down at the familiar sound of Dr Cox ranting, JD said a quiet goodnight, and left the room. No sooner had he reached the living room, he could already hear the loud snores of the type that only a drunk person can make.

As JD walked back into the living room, he was hit by the combined stench of man and alcohol – a smell he had ignored earlier in favour of making sure that Dr Cox was alright. Surveying the chaos, JD started by opening the windows. Turning the sound down on the TV, he switched it over to a music channel and set to work.

*******

He flopped down on the sofa with a heavy sigh.

Behind the front door there were now several boxes full of empty (although rinsed) glass bottles to be recycled. The kitchen was sparkling (the few glasses actually used during the binge still on the draining board), and the entire room was lemony fresh due to the sheer amount of polish JD had used. The only thing he had not done was vacuum, because he was worried that the noise might wake Dr Cox. However, he had the vacuum cleaner out, ready to use when Dr Cox had woken up – not that JD *planned* on still being here....

Sweaty and exhausted, JD took off his shoes, socks and now rather damp shirt, and curled up on the sofa, muttering; “I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute....”

*********

JD woke with a start, unsure of where he was. When he remembered, he sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes as he tried to work out what had woken him. 

He just sat there for a moment, listening to the silence. He was just about to get dressed when he heard it. It was not much, but with every fibre of his being having been so focused on him that night, the sound of Dr Cox in distress, even if it was nothing more than the tossing and turning of a bad dream, was enough for JD.

JD quickly made his way down the corridor to the almost closed door of Dr Cox’s bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door slowly, and his breath caught at the sight before him. The bedclothes had been shoved down, revealing Perry’s perfectly sculpted naked chest, glistening with sweat as he tossed and turned.

However, as JD’s eyes moved up, he could see the pain and tear tracks once again on Perry’s face. So he shook himself out of his reverie and made his way over to the bed.

Placing a hand on a bare arm (while repeating to himself ‘NOT having naked Dr Cox thoughts, NOT having naked Dr Cox thoughts...’) he shook said arm slightly as he whispered, “Dr Cox?”

Perry turned away from the touch, and his muttering increased. JD could not make out most of it, except Perry was saying both ‘Ben’ and ‘no’ quite often.

JD was not really sure what to do, but when Dr Cox suddenly curled in on himself and starting whispering ‘My fault, my fault’ over and over again, he just followed his instincts. Clambering onto the bed, JD crawled up until he was beside Dr Cox’s head. Resisting the urge to run a hand through the unruly curls, JD placed both hands on Dr Cox’s arm and gave him a shake. “It’s not your fault. It’s just a bad dream Dr Cox, it’s just a dream.”

Although that seemed to calm Dr Cox down somewhat, that did not last. You see, he was still asleep, and ergo still in the midst of his Ben-centred nightmare.

As Dr Cox’s mutterings started to increase once again, JD took a deep breath to give himself some much-needed courage (pushing aside the urge to swoon as he inhaled the scent that was purely Perry), and, grabbing Dr Cox by both shoulders, gave him a good shake. “Wake *up* Dr C!”

Perry awoke with a start; a start which caused his head to collide with JD’s, who was still leaning over him as he sat up.

JD acknowledged the bump with a childish ‘owie’ and a pout as he rubbed his head, just glad that he had managed to avoid falling clear off the bed, whereas Perry was far too much of a man to say ‘ow’ and rub his head like a child. However, a bump to a head that was already suffering the aftermath of alcohol overconsumption, meant that he *did* cradle his head as he lay back down with a groan.

JD immediately leaned over and handed him the Advil and water he had placed on the bedside table. Realising then that he was still sitting beside Dr Cox, on his bed, JD quickly scrambled off.

Looking over at his deliciously rumpled, somewhat bleary eyed mentor from his new stance beside the bed, JD once again had to stop himself from reaching out to touch the tousled curls.

Perry just lay there for a few minutes with his eyes closed, waiting for the headache to subside. However, even with his eyes shut he could feel the younger mans eyes upon him. The fact that he was enjoying someone worrying and caring for him just annoyed him further. Rubbing a hand over his eyes and the bridge of his nose, he snapped; “Stop hovering Newbie!”

JD jumped, and then hesitated. Did Perry want him to leave, or just to sit down?

When Perry did not hear a sound from the younger man, he rolled his eyes behind closed lids before opening them with a muttered; “For Christ’s sake!”

Not only could Perry see the hesitation (and yes, a bit of fear), but he also could not help but notice the fact that JD was shirtless; meaning that JD’s shivers could be accounted for as much by cold as by fear.

Watching the dark-haired man stand there hesitantly, unknowingly rubbing his bare arms (and telling himself off inwardly for appreciating the view), Perry shook his head once again. “I’m not gonna bite Newbie! Now sit!” 

As Newbie sat on the opposite side of the bed, Perry reached into the bedside cabinet, pulling out a clean sweatshirt that he threw at the man beside him. “And for Christ’s sake, put some clothes on!”

All that effort seemed to have sapped the elder doctor of what little energy he had, and increased his headache. Perry closed his eyes and flung an arm over them as he sank back into his pillows with another, louder groan.

Looking worriedly down at his obviously in pain mentor, JD could not help but feel sorry for him; in spite of the fact that it was self-inflicted. Hearing the older man groan once again, JD did not even think about it, he placed a hand on either side of Perry’s head and started to massage in small circles.

Perry opened his mouth to give JD what for, for even daring to lay a hand on him. But rather than the beginnings of a rant, Perry could not stop a small moan from escaping. JD’s ministrations were quickly soothing the headache to a much more manageable level, and Perry could not help but lean into the touch.

*****

It was not long before Perry drifted off again, his headache seeming to have faded entirely, due to JD’s ministrations. In spite of this, JD had yet to leave the room. 

Although the sight of his mentor all rumpled, half-naked and looking almost angelically adorable in slumber filled him with gooey – and so very wrong, thoughts, when JD had tried to slide out from under the other Doctor, it was only to be grabbed by those strong arms, and to hear a faint and husky whisper; “Stay. Keep the dreams away.”

At that, JD immersed one hand in those glorious curls he had longed to touch for so long, and relaxed into the arms of a man whose embrace he had feared he would never feel.


End file.
